REDNECK RANTS

 This  one is a little different…  Two Different Versions…  Two  Different Morals
 

OLD  VERSIONThe ant works hard in the  withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up  supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks  the ant is a  fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer  away.. Come winter,  the ant is warm  and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or  shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL  OF THE STORY: Be responsible for  yourself!  
 
MODERN  VERSIONThe ant works  hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his  house and laying up supplies for the  winter. The grasshopper thinks  the ant is a  fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come  winter, the shivering grasshopper calls  a press conference and demands to know why the ant should  be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and  starving. CBS, NBC ,  PBS, CNN, and ABC show  up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next  to a video of the ant in  his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America  is stunned by the sharp contrast. How  can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is  allowed to suffer so? Kermit the  Frog appears  on Oprah with  the grasshopper and  everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being  Green.' ACORN stages  a demonstration in front of the ant's house  where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall  overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah  Wright has the group kneel down to pray to  God for the grasshopper's sake.    President  Obama condemns  the ant and  blames President Bush, President Reagan,  Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for  the grasshopper's plight.Nancy Pelosi & Harry  Reid exclaim in an interview  with Larry  King that the ant has  gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call  for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair  share. Finally, the EEOC drafts  the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper  Act retroactive to the beginning  of the summer. The ant is  fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green  bugs and, having nothing left to  pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by  the Government Green Czar and  given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see  the grasshopper and  his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food  while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens  to be the ant's old  house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't  maintain it. The ant has  disappeared in the snow, never to be seen  again. The grasshopper is  found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is  taken over by a gang of spiders who  terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful,  neighborhood.The entire Nation collapses  bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL  OF THE STORY:  Be  careful how you vote in 2010.